Relationships & Meaning

A long term study on happiness has shown that people are happiest when they are with others and unhappiest when they are alone (Hefferhon. K. & Boniwell, 2011). This illustrates how relationships are key predictors and facilitators of our wellbeing. That is why we want to encourage you to appreciate and strengthen them. In addition, connecting with others is a way of finding meaning in life. And meaning in life is another essential factor contributing to our long term happiness (also called hedonic well-being) and health.

(Positive) Relationships and Meaning are two of the five PERMA- Pillars, which Martin Seligman, one of the founders of Positive Psychology, developed. He claims that these five elements of well-being/happiness contribute to an fulfilled, happy and meaningful life. People are social creatures and therefore thrive in social settings and whenever someone feels a part of a group.

Here are some examples of how well-being can be increased while improving our relationships. Generally speaking, spending more time with family, friends and others, complimenting others regularly, giving gifts, expressing gratitude towards our loved ones, help us feel more positive. We will focus on these elements in the following activities (E.g. Relationships & Gratitude/Appreciation post). Gratitude not only strengthens our relationships but also helps us to initiate new ones.

Not only in relationships, but also through creating work or doing a deed we can find meaning in our lives (Frankl V. E., 2011). This could for example be: starting a new hobby, keep educating yourself or start to meditate regularly. A good first step towards a more meaningful life is to increase your awareness of your personal purpose in life by reflecting on your goals and values.

Some health benefits of people who have a meaningful life, include having a better immune system (Fredrickson, 2013), an enhanced buffer against stress (Park & Baumeister, 2017) and generally living longer (Kashdan & McKnight, 2009).

Hopefully this encourages you to engage in the following activities!

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Relationships & meaning: List

Activities to Practice Relationships & Meaning

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Happiness mindmap

After placing yourself in the middle, draw a mindmap, that includes different aspects of your life that contribute to your happiness. For example, this could include activities that you find especially enjoyable or people that are important to you (to see an example click here).

While doing this be spontaneous and creative use different colors or arrows to connect different aspects.

When you are done, reflect on what stands out for you. Which are the most important factors contributing to your happiness?

Random act of kindness

A random act of kindness (RAK) could be anything, as long as it’s a positive interaction with the intention to spark happiness in other people.The power of surprise makes it extra powerful.

Today, try to carry out some RAK’s to expand your network of happiness and increase your wellbeing.

Some ideas to get your thinking started:

Write positive sticky notes
Reply to a post (i.g. on instagram, facebook etc.) you enjoy
Write a postcard/ letter
Make a homemade card
Text someone good morning or goodnight
Bake someone a cake/ cook someone a meal
Give someone a compliment
Give someone the ‘gift of time’ to help them with what’s needed
Send someone flowers

Find more inspiration here.

Note: This exercise works best when you do more than one RAK on one day.

Gratitude and Relationships

Try to answer the following question:
What positive experiences have you had with someone in the last month?
Describe three of them briefly and ask yourself what made this experience special. While describing try to remember that situation or experience as best as you can and try to remember the feelings you were experiencing.

Appreciation post

Have a look at the picture gallery on your phone or computer and chose three different pictures with three different people that spark positive emotions. Share these three pictures you have chosen with those people. You can do this for example in a private message (E.g. WhatsApp or Email) or by posting this picture on a social media platform (E.g. instagram or facebook). Beside that picture, list one thing you appreciate about them, or things you like doing with them and you will see how easily you can spark positive emotions in others.

Future projections

Imagine yourself as an old man/ woman and you are looking back on your life and this period of your life. What would this old man/ woman advise you to help you through this phase in your life? What do you have to keep in mind according to him/ her? What will he/ she say to you to comfort you?

Values

When values and behaviour match, we experience a sense of coherence in our lives. This sense of coherence, also called integrity, is linked to increased level of happiness.

1.Make a list of the activities that you find most pleasurable and meaningful - that make you happy.

2. Place beside it how much time you spend per week/ month engaging in those activities.

Do the numbers reflect harmony between your values and your behaviour? Take a look in the mirror - are you living your life the way you really want to?

(Hefferon, K., & Boniwell, I., 2011)

Goals

Answer the following questions, inspired by the book ‘Creating Your Best Life’ (Miller & Frisch, 2009).

What are your most important values, intentions and dreams?
What are your strengths? (Name at least 3)
How do you want others to remember you?
What can you do to increase or renew the presence of these values, intentions and dreams in your daily life? What impact could this have on your life?
Inspired by the answers above: set a challenging and specific goal for either the next year, next five years, or next ten years.

Now draw how achieving this goal would look like. While painting, be creative and spontaneous, and most importantly enjoy the process of doing so.

Loving kindness meditation

Listen to a loving kindness meditation to strenghten your relationship and appreciaton of others around you.

To listen; click here

Like the meditation? Go to our mindfulness page and learn more aout implementing mindfulness in your day.